Friday, October 1, 2010

DIY Ebay Polygraph Kit

yet again, i stoop into the realm of the political, please forgive me.

some of you may be aware of late breaking scandal involving california's gubernatorial (i do love that word) contender and former CEO of ebay, meg whitman. whitman has taken a hard line stance against employers who engage in the practice of hiring undocumented workers. this week, it became known to the public that ms. whitman herself is presumably one such employer. a former domestic employee has come forward with a notification of social security number mis-match that is dated 2003 with a hand written note by ms. whitman's husband asking the employee to 'look into this'. such evidence would suggest that the whitman family knew that their maid's eligibility to work in this country was in question. the whitman family failed to respond to the letter sent by the social security administration and left it in the hands of the employee in question.

ms whitman stated that she never saw this letter and is willing to take a polygraph to 'prove' it. i must say, this brings all sorts of fanciful imaginings into my head. first and foremost is that making such an offer ought to be a death knell to any political campaign, but in today's political climate, one never knows. then i veer off into wishing that all politicians were hooked up to polygraph machines from the time they announce their candidacy until their public service has concluded.

then, there is the uniquely awful picture in my head of ms. whitman in a do it yourself lie detection machine, rendered to the best of my photo-shopping ability

meg whitmans DIY poligraph

i am thinking how much i would like to sell this original artwork on my ebay account, complete with a 'buy it now' option in mock solidarity with ms. whitman and her desire to purchase the governorship of my dear state.

submitted for your approval


Saturday, April 17, 2010

no longer can i go see my pal Cal

in this day heightened media exposure, i am always amazed at how 'news' can actually reach us. today, i discovered the loss of the legendary used auto salesman, cal worthington on my youtube channel.

i first encountered cal as a child of the 60s, in that bastion of bizarre architecture, southern califora. my pampered (no, disposable diapers had not yet been invented) behind parked on an orange shag rug that my mother dutifully raked on a daily basis and gazing at a monstrous black and white motorola tv screen during commercial breaks for the flintstones (and no, they were not reruns at the time). laughing at cal's antics with the rotation of his 'dogs' spot along with my folks, i recognized my hero of marketing and retail. little did i know that my parents would soon relocate our family to northern california on 30 acres of prime ranch land, in the outskirts of a miniscule town that was also home to my retailing hero, cal and his family.

the following is something i posted on a myspace blog some time ago and relates the events of my brothers high school graduation, along with cal's daughter. farewell cal.

- - - -

f you're a child of the sixties or even of the seventies
most likely from the southern california area
there is no way that you cannot remember
Cal Worthingington

we had the dubious distinction of attending high school with Cal's daughter, Courtney, in the cow town of Orland, California go see cal. although the details are sketchy of her graduation night party, this is what i do know

If your daughter graduates
and you're cal
and she makes stee-rate B's
and you're cal
give her a chevy blazer
and the cow who was a grazer
is a burger on a bun now
if you're cal

the actual number of cows who met their demise is somewhat questionable. what is a known factor is that when cow meets vehicle, the vehicle almost always looses. no telling what she'd have gotten if she made straight Cs -- a corvette perchance?