in this day heightened media exposure, i am always amazed at how 'news' can actually reach us. today, i discovered the loss of the legendary used auto salesman, cal worthington on my youtube channel.
i first encountered cal as a child of the 60s, in that bastion of bizarre architecture, southern califora. my pampered (no, disposable diapers had not yet been invented) behind parked on an orange shag rug that my mother dutifully raked on a daily basis and gazing at a monstrous black and white motorola tv screen during commercial breaks for the flintstones (and no, they were not reruns at the time). laughing at cal's antics with the rotation of his 'dogs' spot along with my folks, i recognized my hero of marketing and retail. little did i know that my parents would soon relocate our family to northern california on 30 acres of prime ranch land, in the outskirts of a miniscule town that was also home to my retailing hero, cal and his family.
the following is something i posted on a myspace blog some time ago and relates the events of my brothers high school graduation, along with cal's daughter. farewell cal.
- - - -
f you're a child of the sixties or even of the seventies
most likely from the southern california area
there is no way that you cannot remember
Cal Worthingington
we had the dubious distinction of attending high school with Cal's daughter, Courtney, in the cow town of Orland, California go see cal. although the details are sketchy of her graduation night party, this is what i do know
If your daughter graduates
and you're cal
and she makes stee-rate B's
and you're cal
give her a chevy blazer
and the cow who was a grazer
is a burger on a bun now
if you're cal
the actual number of cows who met their demise is somewhat questionable. what is a known factor is that when cow meets vehicle, the vehicle almost always looses. no telling what she'd have gotten if she made straight Cs -- a corvette perchance?
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Saturday, April 17, 2010
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
how to deal with domestic terrorists effectively and other political crap
more political crap from me, cause i just can't help it, dammit.
normally, i would apologize to anyone i may offend by posting my own political views. in this case, i won't. feel free to delete yourself should you disagree with the honorable mr. frank.
this is the way it oughtta be.
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Monday, July 6, 2009
dreams -- up in smoke
i started seeing a new guy, he seems pretty nice, says he's "loaded". which judging from his behavior, i'm inclined to agree. he even owns his own skyscraper in san francisco. it just gets a little embarrassing when he introduces himself to others, it's not just the red eyes and cheeto dust on his fingers . . .
you got it,
"Bong, James Bong"
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you got it,
"Bong, James Bong"
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Sunday, May 3, 2009
Leading a Laughing Jackass to Slaughter in 24 easy steps
(an internet story of intrigue)
the following is an example of an 'internet social networking' correspondence, the genre with which i have developed a keen love/hate relationship over the years. the unwitting and unsuspecting approach me with tedious conversation skills and if i happen to be just bored enough, i'll start a little game i like to call "cherry pickin' time". sure, i'm only picking the low lying fruit, but sometimes, a special someone just begs to be picked over. in this example, our young volunteer, Manny, is thinking 'mate' at step 5 yet i'm thinking 'check mate' at step 4.
1. Manny D: I bet you is a bad ass mofok.hehe
2. badass mo faux: i do my best, dammit!
3. Manny D: Atta girl!!!!! Your what makes us men try harder. Lol
4. badass mo faux: damn straight :-) -- so, let's see how you try
5. Manny D: I dont know lady, I'm like a ninja, You wont even notice me and them bamn!!!!!! You'll be wondering how I did that.
6. badass mo faux: dear god, i hope it isn't that quick -- that would be like having sex with 'flash' the super hero -- over before it began.
:-)
7. Manny D: Lol!!!! ummm no. Lol Kinda came out wrong. hehe now you got me tryin to see how you assn your pets. I've never been the pet. Always the master.
8. badass mo faux: well then, turn about would be fair play, wouldn't it?
9. Manny D: hmmm, I would think so. But its hard to teach a dog new tricks. I'm a stubborn Dawg. hehe
10. badass mo faux: that's ok, i'm a cowgirl all growed up, i have ways of making dogs and livestock perform feats that they are most unwilling to do
11. Manny D: Really? that would be somnt. I always have the leash with a good grip and very close by. I would love to see how well you handle your pets.
12. badass mo faux: i've been known to hog tie ornery individuals and leave them. sure, i coulda done a lot worse, like back on the ranch, but that was purty good fun.
13. Manny D: nice, I've been known to tie up and blind fold individuals, but I never leave them. I use them up and play with their emotions b4 I release mine. It's always fun with me. Lol I'm due.
14. badass mo faux: why exactly are you telling me this?
15. Manny D: why not. You seem to be cool and have some stories yourself. I just happen to be lucky and get to chat chit with you tonight.
16. yohofaux & a bottle o'rum: ahhhh -- but what i didn't tell you is that back at the ranch, when we tied up the bull calfs we cut off their testes and threw them to the dogs. (notice the name change? manny didn't)
17. Manny D: Lmao!!! yeah, Lol you did leave that part out. Your a Savage.
18. yohofaux & a bottle o'rum: damn right -- and let me tell you, bull calves are a hell of a lot stronger than human beings
19. Manny D: true, but humans are a lot of a hell better. hehe
20. yohofaux & a bottle o'rum: i think steak tastes a hell of a lot better
21. Manny D: depends on what your in the mood for. or how bad you want it. great sex is a delekesi. Lol
22. yohofaux & a bottle o'rum: i reckon
23. Manny D: so how bout I go over yonder one dezz days and see for myself how bad ass of a wrangler you are. Lol
24. yohofaux & a bottle o'rum: there were always mixed feelings as i held the 38 to their soft lil heads -- sure, they'd drop in an instant, there would be blood and gore, and always the dogs to clean up the mess . . . .but then. . . . . there would be steak
honestly, i don't think you can handle me
****************:
and so, young Manny slunk back into the night, never to be heard from again. my dogs don't tell tales, but i just might.
submitted for your approval,
faux q. public
the following is an example of an 'internet social networking' correspondence, the genre with which i have developed a keen love/hate relationship over the years. the unwitting and unsuspecting approach me with tedious conversation skills and if i happen to be just bored enough, i'll start a little game i like to call "cherry pickin' time". sure, i'm only picking the low lying fruit, but sometimes, a special someone just begs to be picked over. in this example, our young volunteer, Manny, is thinking 'mate' at step 5 yet i'm thinking 'check mate' at step 4.
1. Manny D: I bet you is a bad ass mofok.hehe
2. badass mo faux: i do my best, dammit!
3. Manny D: Atta girl!!!!! Your what makes us men try harder. Lol
4. badass mo faux: damn straight :-) -- so, let's see how you try
5. Manny D: I dont know lady, I'm like a ninja, You wont even notice me and them bamn!!!!!! You'll be wondering how I did that.
6. badass mo faux: dear god, i hope it isn't that quick -- that would be like having sex with 'flash' the super hero -- over before it began.
:-)
7. Manny D: Lol!!!! ummm no. Lol Kinda came out wrong. hehe now you got me tryin to see how you assn your pets. I've never been the pet. Always the master.
8. badass mo faux: well then, turn about would be fair play, wouldn't it?
9. Manny D: hmmm, I would think so. But its hard to teach a dog new tricks. I'm a stubborn Dawg. hehe
10. badass mo faux: that's ok, i'm a cowgirl all growed up, i have ways of making dogs and livestock perform feats that they are most unwilling to do
11. Manny D: Really? that would be somnt. I always have the leash with a good grip and very close by. I would love to see how well you handle your pets.
12. badass mo faux: i've been known to hog tie ornery individuals and leave them. sure, i coulda done a lot worse, like back on the ranch, but that was purty good fun.
13. Manny D: nice, I've been known to tie up and blind fold individuals, but I never leave them. I use them up and play with their emotions b4 I release mine. It's always fun with me. Lol I'm due.
14. badass mo faux: why exactly are you telling me this?
15. Manny D: why not. You seem to be cool and have some stories yourself. I just happen to be lucky and get to chat chit with you tonight.
16. yohofaux & a bottle o'rum: ahhhh -- but what i didn't tell you is that back at the ranch, when we tied up the bull calfs we cut off their testes and threw them to the dogs. (notice the name change? manny didn't)
17. Manny D: Lmao!!! yeah, Lol you did leave that part out. Your a Savage.
18. yohofaux & a bottle o'rum: damn right -- and let me tell you, bull calves are a hell of a lot stronger than human beings
19. Manny D: true, but humans are a lot of a hell better. hehe
20. yohofaux & a bottle o'rum: i think steak tastes a hell of a lot better
21. Manny D: depends on what your in the mood for. or how bad you want it. great sex is a delekesi. Lol
22. yohofaux & a bottle o'rum: i reckon
23. Manny D: so how bout I go over yonder one dezz days and see for myself how bad ass of a wrangler you are. Lol
24. yohofaux & a bottle o'rum: there were always mixed feelings as i held the 38 to their soft lil heads -- sure, they'd drop in an instant, there would be blood and gore, and always the dogs to clean up the mess . . . .but then. . . . . there would be steak
honestly, i don't think you can handle me
****************:
and so, young Manny slunk back into the night, never to be heard from again. my dogs don't tell tales, but i just might.
submitted for your approval,
faux q. public
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
Friday, March 13, 2009
dali fantasy
a dear friend sent me a rather rudimentary slideshow of one of my favorite artist's works that she had somehow adcquired. i do not know who the original creator is, but must express my thanks for the inspiration. i made some text edits, yet retained the mis-spelling of salvador's first name intentionally. lastly, i added a sound track which felt all too appropriate and created my third movie.
hope all who see enjoy
humbly submitted for your approval,
faux
hope all who see enjoy
humbly submitted for your approval,
faux
Friday, July 11, 2008
My Personal Peeve
couldn't call it a 'pet' peeve exactly. 'cause most pets i know have more sense. i'm speaking of this latest worthless car accessory to have caught my eye while i should be concentrating on traffic. that blight of SUV's across the country -- family decal representations (FDRs).
(just an aside -- since when was it necessary to accessorize one's car??? i remember in '69 my folks bought a copper lincoln continental with suicide doors.
then they went out and found a nifty little waste receptacle to drape over the drive shaft hump and it was smartly anchored with little upholstered sandbags. now, apparently you just aren't in with the in crowd unless you have wheels which spin backwards on the inside of the real deal wheels. call me not hip, man, but i just don't get it)
the thing that is currently bugging me is the industry that has cropped up for all of the yahoos who missed the 'baby on board' craze. these folks (as their ancestors before them) must advertise the size of their family (including pets) down to approximate ages and genders with a veritible plethora of FDRs. if they're willing to spring for a lil extra, maybe some sports/activity type decals to go along with the rest of the decal family. 
i'll not be able to participate in that, for many reasons, but (and here's the sticky wicket) there is no decal for 'nose picker'. although it looks as if this company may be able to er, uh, pull something our of their hats.
i was always convinced that the 'baby on board' crowd thought we should all drive more safely upon seeing that sign (as if we were not already doing so). what an insane imaginary baby bubble that is! if their cars were not so polluted with worthless viewing material, perhaps safer driving would actually be encouraged!
but i must say this sticker thing bugs me even more. i can see how if the family expands so can their FDRs. they can buy more decals for marriages or births (but none that signify weight gain, i notice, if one's family expands in that dimension). how exactly should the decal for 'junior is becoming a baby daddy of a crack baby' decal look like???? and then of course, we'll need the accompanying 'crack baby on board' sign.
what pray tell should be done in times of loss??? does one just peel off the sticker, leaving a noticeable gap? the red circle/slash (international NO symbol) seems a little clinical and X's on eyes veer into the comical. perhaps halos, crosses, and a choir of cherubs serenading the dearly departed would work? it would certainly help to stimulate the economy, which i know our president (rather, his marionettes) would find satisfactory.
i don't even give into my perverse friend's suggestion as to how she likes to imagine the (pick one: ford or chevy) decal with upon which our cartoon friend calvin pees on s alongside cross decals being worshipped by yet none other than our boy calvin. she would like to cut out the middleman (oh, do the math, and you'll know what calvin will be watering -- yes, grave sites)
next up will be how this phenomena correlates to the purchase of cows and a local strip joint (yes it is a long story).
submitted for your approval by your piss ant pal,
/cmcc
(just an aside -- since when was it necessary to accessorize one's car??? i remember in '69 my folks bought a copper lincoln continental with suicide doors.
then they went out and found a nifty little waste receptacle to drape over the drive shaft hump and it was smartly anchored with little upholstered sandbags. now, apparently you just aren't in with the in crowd unless you have wheels which spin backwards on the inside of the real deal wheels. call me not hip, man, but i just don't get it)
the thing that is currently bugging me is the industry that has cropped up for all of the yahoos who missed the 'baby on board' craze. these folks (as their ancestors before them) must advertise the size of their family (including pets) down to approximate ages and genders with a veritible plethora of FDRs. if they're willing to spring for a lil extra, maybe some sports/activity type decals to go along with the rest of the decal family. 
i'll not be able to participate in that, for many reasons, but (and here's the sticky wicket) there is no decal for 'nose picker'. although it looks as if this company may be able to er, uh, pull something our of their hats.i was always convinced that the 'baby on board' crowd thought we should all drive more safely upon seeing that sign (as if we were not already doing so). what an insane imaginary baby bubble that is! if their cars were not so polluted with worthless viewing material, perhaps safer driving would actually be encouraged!
but i must say this sticker thing bugs me even more. i can see how if the family expands so can their FDRs. they can buy more decals for marriages or births (but none that signify weight gain, i notice, if one's family expands in that dimension). how exactly should the decal for 'junior is becoming a baby daddy of a crack baby' decal look like???? and then of course, we'll need the accompanying 'crack baby on board' sign.
what pray tell should be done in times of loss??? does one just peel off the sticker, leaving a noticeable gap? the red circle/slash (international NO symbol) seems a little clinical and X's on eyes veer into the comical. perhaps halos, crosses, and a choir of cherubs serenading the dearly departed would work? it would certainly help to stimulate the economy, which i know our president (rather, his marionettes) would find satisfactory.
i don't even give into my perverse friend's suggestion as to how she likes to imagine the (pick one: ford or chevy) decal with upon which our cartoon friend calvin pees on s alongside cross decals being worshipped by yet none other than our boy calvin. she would like to cut out the middleman (oh, do the math, and you'll know what calvin will be watering -- yes, grave sites)next up will be how this phenomena correlates to the purchase of cows and a local strip joint (yes it is a long story).
submitted for your approval by your piss ant pal,
/cmcc
